by Sr Nunother  

 

I’m the opposite of still.  I’m hardly ever tranquil, peaceful, or placid. I do not soothe or pacify, I bustle and cause commotion. I’m walking turbulence. My heart longs for the stillness mentioned in scripture. I want to be there, first in line. 

 

I tried my best on a recent holiday. My quest started with a solitary beach walk under a sunny early-autumn sky. It ended with the first person I encountered. I reluctantly discussed the problem she raised and made her feel guilty for asking. She hoped I would enjoy the rest of my day. Thank you was barely out of my mouth, when our medical sister grabbed me for a flu shot — an offer I can’t refuse!  I then changed into exercise clothes and headed for the tread mill. My cell phone rang with a request I needed to honor. Gave up the exercise and packed a picnic bag lunch. As I headed to the beach with my folding chair, dark clouds rolled in. I also noticed I’d made my sandwich from wheat allergy bread which isn’t that tasty. I’m beginning to get it. I cannot manufacture peace through circumstance. When Jesus calms the storm or promises to lead beside still waters, He has this proviso: I come as I am, where I am, but with unwavering faith and trust in Him.