by Sr Nunother
I have a friend who sometimes declares, “I need to own my beans.” What she means is, “I need to look at this squarely and take responsibility for who I am and what I do.” It’s so easy for me to side-step the truth and for a variety of reasons: protect my pride, not risk a relationship, avoid pain, avoid reality, remain superior and not appear needy.
Two weeks ago, I served a dinner in Bethany Guest House. As I removed the pie from the warm oven, I carelessly left the oven door open. After cutting two pie slices and adding scoops of vanilla ice cream, I turned and charged toward the dining room. Oops. I slammed my shin against the stainless steel edge of the open oven door. The wound looked strange but I decided to minimize. I calmly called to one of the guests (I knew her well) and asked if she would mind pouring tea and serving pie. She came into the kitchen, noticed the blood trail and said, “Honey, you need a doctor.” The cut required thirteen stitches, but I maintained throughout that I was fine, it didn’t hurt and I’d be back to work that same evening. But what was I really feeling? More along the lines of “Aaaugh!! My leg is killing me and I want the best medical help available!”
There are moments each day when I adjust the truth, most of them silly and pointless. Why not simply own my beans and live in that liberating place called reality.