I was pondering this weekend my fear of being alone. I don’t mean that I don’t like to go to my room and close the door every now and again, or take a long walk on a path with no one else around. I mean the “alone” I feel when it seems God is asking me to go through something that I’m not sure I can do. Or the alone I feel when He asks me to do something that He doesn’t seem to be asking the people around me to do. Or the other way around.
Sometimes I can literally feel it in my gut like a dull ache. I want someone right by my side that can whisper that it’s going to be OK — or pull me up when I feel like sitting down or, honestly, just do it for me! I thought about it yesterday and I know in my heart that God wants to be that person for me — right there by my side telling me not only that I CAN do it, but HOW to do it. And pulling me up when I want to sit down.  And doing a lot of the work. I just have to change my idea of what it means to be alone — and expand my alone-ness to include Jesus.


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About Renaissance Girl

I moved to the Community with my family in 1988 when I was 10 - which gives away my current age! I am now a solemnly professed member - I work at Paraclete Press, the publishing arm of the Community and I love my job! I also sing in the choir Gloriæ Dei Cantores, and am a member of Elements Theatre Company and Spirit of America Band. As a Docent for the Church of the Transfiguration, I get to discover new things about the church every time I share it with someone else. When I'm not doing one of those activities, I love to spend time with my dog or my "extended family". There's a lot of variety in my life which keeps me energized - and I'm learning how to be more in the moment so whether I'm at a rehearsal, or making dinner in the kitchen with 5 girls, they all get 100% of me!

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