I was pondering this weekend my fear of being alone. I don’t mean that I don’t like to go to my room and close the door every now and again, or take a long walk on a path with no one else around. I mean the “alone” I feel when it seems God is asking me to go through something that I’m not sure I can do. Or the alone I feel when He asks me to do something that He doesn’t seem to be asking the people around me to do. Or the other way around.
Sometimes I can literally feel it in my gut like a dull ache. I want someone right by my side that can whisper that it’s going to be OK — or pull me up when I feel like sitting down or, honestly, just do it for me! I thought about it yesterday and I know in my heart that God wants to be that person for me — right there by my side telling me not only that I CAN do it, but HOW to do it. And pulling me up when I want to sit down. And doing a lot of the work. I just have to change my idea of what it means to be alone — and expand my alone-ness to include Jesus.